Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column.
“Hey, kids! What shall we do this weekend?”
“Let’s go to the Bunga Bunga Museum!”
It’s been suggested that the mansion near Milan that belonged to the late Silvio Berlusconi should be transformed into a museum dedicated to the controversial three-time Italian prime minister and Finnish food enthusiast.
Berlusconi, who died in June aged 86, bought Villa San Martino in the early 1970s, and as well as it being his main residence, he used it for political meetings and some of his infamous “bunga bunga” sex parties.
Quite what would be on display at the Berlusconi Museum (and whether Viagra would be interested in a sponsorship deal) has not been revealed. The 70-room mansion reportedly has a lot of portraits of Berlusconi himself, which presumably take pride of place over the Rembrandt and Titian artworks. The villa also has the “contract with the Italians” document that Berlusconi signed on national TV — in which he promised to lower taxes, create jobs and boost infrastructure before his election win of 2001. Rumor has it that the contract is kept in a bathroom!
If the museum idea comes to pass, it’ll have a lot of competition from Europe’s more unusual museums. There is of course the Iceland Phallological Museum, which describes itself as “the world’s only genuine penis museum” and also has a café and bistro — “I seem to have lost my appetite after an hour of looking at mummified dicks.” In Leeds Castle, England, there’s the Dog Collar Museum but they don’t allow you to touch the exhibits as visitors are kept on a tight leash (#sorrynotsorry).
There’s also the Museum of Bread Culture in Ulm, Germany, which, unlike the penis museum, doesn’t have a café! Despite that, visitor numbers are on the rise (still #sorrynotsorry).
Further afield, there’s the Cup Noodles Museum in Osaka, Japan, which is a tiny place until you pour hot water on it!
But back to Berlusconi’s Milan mansion and there has been anticipation of what would happen to his riches. We now know that his two eldest children, Marina and Pier Silvio, will have a majority stake in the family’s holding company Fininvest.
It is not yet clear how Berlusconi’s many other valuable assets will be dealt with.
According to old pal Vittorio Sgarbi, now Italy’s undersecretary for culture and who has been in trouble this week for bragging about his sexual conquests, artworks stored in the Milan villa include a copy of Parmigianino’s “Antea,” a portrait of the post-war actor Anna Fallarino by the Milanese artist Pietro Annigoni, and a work of unknown authorship that resembles the Mona Lisa with her breasts exposed. Classy to the end.
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Paul Dallison is POLITICO‘s slot news editor.