Have you got the U.S. election fear?
Anxiety levels are through the roof ahead of Tuesday’s existential American election pitting twice-impeached firebrand Republican Donald Trump against Democratic incumbent Vice President Kamala Harris.
In America’s deeply polarized political landscape, the most partisan backers of each candidate worry about the direction in which the other would take the U.S. should they win — and some of the most fervent online supporters are even threatening to leave the country in the event of an election loss.
If you’re among those looking for an escape hatch should your favored candidate lose out, we’ve curated a handy list of ideal destinations whatever your political persuasion.
The Red Camp
Who: Moneybags Trump devotees
Where: The Albanian Riviera
Trump voters looking for a sanctuary to wait out a Harris presidency will be thrilled to learn Trump’s son-in-law and former adviser, Jared Kushner, has snapped up development rights for a pristine slice of the Albanian Riviera in a $1 billion project that includes luxury villas and apartments.
With its comparatively low cost of living, relaxed visa arrangements — U.S. citizens can stay in Albania, a non-EU country, for up to a year without a residency permit — abundance of guns and camps for undocumented immigrants, the country is a no-brainer for Trump’s most die-hard devotees.
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Who: Happy to settle for the Temu Trump
Where: The Czech Republic
Check this out: Prague has its own imitation Donald Trump for conservative escapees.
If you’re happy to overlook a few key differences — the orange face, for one — Czechia offers its own business tycoon-turned-political firestarter: Andrej Babiš, who’s in the running to return to high office soon.
The former prime minister, who once said he wants to “make the Czech Republic great again,” is surging in the polls ahead of elections set for next year.
Babiš, a big proponent of Republican-style ideas like radical immigration policy and pledges to cut taxes, has even sported a red cap with “strong Czechia” emblazoned on it, reminiscent of Trump’s iconic Make America Great Again hats.
Just call him the “Temu Trump.”
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Who: Proud Boys
Where: The eastern German state of Thuringia
Wait — don’t attack the Capitol just yet.
For those on the extreme right end of the Trump coalition, the eastern German state of Thuringia, where the Nazi party had its first successes in the 1930s, could be just the place to start your new life.
The far-right Alternative for Germany (AfD) won a recent local election, and white supremacists will find ready-made allies on the ground.
The state is home to various politicians who are happy to talk nostalgically about fascists of old: Think Björn Höcke, AfD leader who was fined several times for uttering a phrase employed by Hitler’s storm troopers; or Tommy Frenck, who has a store where he sells Ku Klux Klan and Nazi merchandise, and owns a Third Reich-themed restaurant.
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Who: Blue-collar Trump voters
Where: Hungary
Are you a Rust Belt worker struggling to find a decent job and bummed out about your work prospects ? Head to Hungary, Europe’s new industrial paradise, with battery and car factories all over the country, fueled by advanced Chinese technology and capital. (OK, you’ll need to get over that.)
If you’re missing the sights of the North American Great Lakes, you can even spend some time at Lake Balaton, fishing or swimming with your kids. And if you’re just starting a family, you can get tax breaks for each child, while making sure the influence of the “LGBTQ+ lobby” doesn’t get anywhere near them — Prime Minister Viktor Orbán is famously not a fan.
Unfortunately, you can’t bear arms as freely as in the U.S., but there’s no more deadly weapon than a homemade pálinka (fruit brandy) — also tax-free, thanks to Orbán!
The Blue Camp
Who: The no-borders crew
Where: The Balearic Islands
Is all this talk of building a wall doing your head in? Head to the sunny paradise of the Balearic Islands, a Spanish archipelago in the Mediterranean.
Left-leaning progressive Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez is bucking the trend of EU countries that are embracing increasingly stringent measures on migration, despite the popularity of the Western Mediterranean route into the bloc from North African countries.
Hopefully, then, Sánchez won’t mind accommodating an influx of lefty Americans disgruntled by a Trump win.
The Dems might also be a fan of Spain’s other “woke” policies: It is a world leader on women’s rights and LGBTQ+ equality.
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Who: Champagne socialists
Where: Paris, darling
Democrats craving a life of wine and revolution, with their taxes contributing to a more generous welfare state, may end up in France: Americans now account for 3 percent of all foreign buyers of French property, according to one real estate agent, with that number rising to 25 percent in Paris.
Those searching for a luxurious lifestyle — of lavish homes, glittering beaches and rubbing shoulders with the stars at the Cannes Film Festival — may be tempted to head south, to the Riviera. But be warned: It’s a heartland of support for France’s own far-right firebrand.
If in doubt, perhaps best to stay in the safe cocoon of the French capital’s cultural corners, browsing the radical archives of La Pharmacie des Âmes or chatting about anarcho-syndicalism over a café au lait at Librarie Michèle Firk.
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Who: Green policy wonks
Where: Brussels
If you’re an eco-lobbyist or climate-conscious political staffer dismayed at the prospect of sitting helplessly by while Trump wreaks environmental havoc for the next four years, why not swap D.C. for another soulless expat-heavy city? We’re talking about Brussels, of course.
You might actually make a difference by putting your policy expertise to use in the EU capital, with European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen vowing to decarbonize European businesses and slash the bloc’s global warming contribution over the next five years with her landmark Green Deal and Clean Industrial Deal.
You’ll just need to brace for roughly eight months of uninterrupted rain every year.
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Who: Anarchist ravers
Where: Amsterdam
Sick of waiting on drug legalization reforms (highly unlikely under a Republican presidency), and ready to get the party going?
Hop on a plane to Amsterdam, where you can stock up on magic mushrooms and your herb of choice while on the grocery run!
If you’re looking for something even more hardcore, a six-hour train ride will get you to the heart of Berlin, where techno clubs run around the clock.
After an all-nighter bouncing between underground bars, warehouses and fetish nights, Trump 2.0 will be the last thing on your mind.